Thursday, March 22, 2012

It's just a boy with a guitar singing exactly what you want him to sing...

It's not easy to fool me.

I take pride in the fact that I'm not the typical sponge you see walking down the street everyday, subconsciously absorbing messages from the media, and thinking I have such wonderful ideas when in fact, they aren't my own. But even I, am not perfect, and occasionally I will buy into something simply because someone else tells me to. Facebook has been doing a wonderful job of this lately, by customizing the advertizing you see on your Facebook profiles based on your likes and interests which YOU personally provided them with when you created the profile back when Facebook wasn't as evil as it is today.

In my early college years, I didn't really think about how others could profit from my personal preferences. I became aware of this whole idea when I first signed up for a CVS card, which was supposed to give me coupons after every purchase. Being a broke college student, it sounded like a pretty good deal. After a few months, I realized that the coupons weren't random. They were based on products I had previously purchased, and CVS was monitoring my buying patterns so that they could better plan how to stock their store to be more profitable. Grocery, drug and clothing stores bank on the fact that your brain will automatically focus on "potential savings" than the real reason why they want you to sign up for their "discount cards." While you may be saving a few dollars here and there, you are providing them with consumer information that will help them plan how to market their products in the future.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that an entire genre of music could be the ultimate form of exploitation. The worst part? I never even saw it until now.

Everyone has different opinions of the "Emo" genre of music. Whiny boys with guitars, predictable hooks, power chords up the kazoo, and songs that sound the same. Of course, you can't forget the fact that the lyrics to each song aren't overly complicated, but have the power to tell a very clear story that never changes from song to song: Boy meets girl, boy gets girl, they hook up, either he or she has to go away, they separate, and one or both of them regret something. Allow me to provide some abbreviated examples of the Emo formula:

"Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional
Hands down this is the best date I can ever remember,
Always remember, the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights,
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together.

"A Good Night's Sleep" by The Starting Line
For a lack of better
Words to say
All I said was goodnight
Once again, in self-defence
I wont sleep a wink
To prevent dreaming of you
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
Sleep away
A silent pain
That's screaming out my name
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
I hope for your sake you don't wake up as broken as I am

"Miss America" by Something Corporate
And I don't care if you don't love me
And I don't care if you don't change
And I could live inside the shadow that I cast for you
If it meant that you would stay
And I'll be home before the morning comes,
You won't have to be alone
I will write this down for you
So you can read it
I will hold my breath for you
Till I can't feel it
You don't have to see me this way,
'Cause this way I'm okay
I will write this down

While each song is clearly not the same, they are all about the same thing. So why on earth does this genre sell so well? If you think the lyrics are bad, you're right. If I could post the music as well, you'd see how bad that is too. The industry knows that its target audience are females between the ages of 14-21, as most females have their heart broken more than once during this time. They also realize that these lyrics could easily be written in the pages of EVERY girl's diary in the world. While the lyrics aren't good per say, they are sensitive, which is why it's so easy to relate to them. I know I put myself into these songs, and pretended that each band knew what I was going through.

The real killer, however is that these lyrics are being sung my MALES. The average male in these bands isn't old enough to be able to understand the first thing about women, except that they have breasts and multiple orifices in which to put a certain body part. However, miraculously, the guys singing in Emo bands are sensitive, know how females are feeling, and aren't afraid to show their own feelings. Even worse? Most of these guys aren't remotely attractive. You put a guitar in their hands, and within a fraction of a second, they become sexy! This is a major turn on. I know, because I'm currently staring at my old CD collection, and cannot even believe that I have more than 32 CDs in the Emo category.

To sum up: The music industry uses Emo to make money off of girls by giving them hope. The music is so shitty, listening to it now makes me ill. It is simply a money making machine. Do you think there are actually males out there who wake up one morning and say "I want to be in an Emo band?"NO! They want to fucking rock out and make a lot of noise, but they're not good the record company changes the band around, gives them a song they're good enough to play, and PRESTO! A money-making machine.

My rant is done.

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